I Fail

I fail.

Miserably sometimes.
Lot's of times, actually.
I'm talking major royal failage.

Oh there are many times that I walk away from a situation or a moment and get to feel proud, proud of myself for being a "good Mom", for doing a good job, for doing things right. For rising above my own human tendencies to be selfish or greedy or mean or whatever.

But those times are not what this post is about.
This post is about the many times I have, do, and will fail. I get angry and instead of "expressing it appropriately" I yell. Or threaten. I make unfair demands and use unkind words. I hurt feelings. I do exactly the opposite of what I try and teach my kids to do. I often have to apologize because they deserve more respect than that and I am acting selfishly and without either patience, kindness or grace. Sometimes I begin to parent in a way I think others think that I should. I do things or say things I don't believe in because I know those others are watching. I have to apologize for that, too, because it is prideful behavior.
I do lots of things wrong.
I do many things right.
That's life, Mamas. It's butterflies and rainbows and hail storms and locust clouds. It's the sunlight glancing off your toddler's curls and scraped knees and twirly dresses and tumbling off the porch or down a grassy hill and it's all mixed up in this messy, beautiful, painful, wonderful experience called life.

We will never be perfect. We will never handle every situation that comes flying at us in the form of cheerios from the hands of a tired and angsty two year old or hurting words from a frustrated six year old with perfect humility and gentleness.

But you know what?
Christ did.
He was perfectness in human form.
When they slapped, he turned, when they railed, He quietly spoke the Truth, when they killed Him, He died in our place, that we may be imputed with his purity and be Saved. The greatest act of love ever known!
Psalm 61 says "lead me to the rock that is higher than I." He is our strength, through Him we receive new grace for every morning, every moment, praise His Name!

So Mothers, sweet Mothers with hearts broken over what you may have messed up on this week, this day, this minute, take a moment to quiet your soul. Remember that we all fail, but that with Christ in our hearts we can rise to love better right now. So say you're sorry, if you need to, ask for forgiveness. Part of being a Mom is also modeling what to do when we mess up. And your kids will love, respect, and cherish that from you.